Mum's the Word

Dear "Candidates"

Dear Hillary,

STEP OFF already! My boyfriend Barack Obama has it all sewn up. Let it go. As far as I can see he hasn't asked you to be be his running mate (an invitation which I suspect you would interpret as him asking you to be "co-president") so please take your helmet hair and bad necker-chiefs and go back to New York or wherever you're going to spend the next 4 years drinking yourself into a stupor.

JEEZ already,
Mum


Dear Barack,

Your wife seems absolutely lovely, but if you're looking for some hot teacher action, please consider me for any of your Embarrassing Scandal needs. I can deliver the goods, yessir!

Love,
Mummy


Dear John McCain,

You know, I almost sort of like you when you're on The Daily Show. I think I might actually be able to sit through a meal with you, if you're buying. There will be no Barack-y action afterwards though, because... ew. I know far too much of your medical history, for one. But, you know, drinks. That would be fine. You seem to have a fine sense of humor and while I cannot vote for you because you Stand For Everything I Cannot Abide we can agree to disagree and I don't think you'd make me completely nauseous or anything. Unlike a certain non-conceding woman I can name (I'm looking at YOU Hillary).

Sincerely,
AnonaMum

Labels: Political Mummy

posted by AnonaMum @ 11:32 AM