Mum's the Word

I'm probably not a very nice person, when you think about it

I have to be honest here - that's the whole point of keeping this blog. I'm a pretty passive-aggressive person. I don't like this about myself, and I am working on it because I'm aware of it, but it's still true. I'd rather drop hints and be disappointed than say right out what I want and be disappointed. I don't like conflict, though I'll fight like a bitch when it comes my way - especially if I feel I'm somehow getting screwed. And I tend to think I'm being screwed more often than I actually am. I have sort of a knee-jerk reaction to any whiff of injustice. Sometimes that's useful and sometimes I wind up embarrassed.

My husband, the AnonaDad, is very much the opposite of me in this regard. He wants to have everything above board and talked about, and he assumes the best of intentions with regards to everyone. While I'm skulking about trying to determine if we're being taken advantage of, he's busy having completely open heart to heart conversations and trying to work things out. On the surface this makes him seem like the sane one in this relationship, and he often is, but his tendency to assume the best has definitely resulted in some bad deals. For instance, when he was wrongfully sued a few years ago (the AnonaDad runs his own business from home, by the way), he wound up telling his insurance rep far more than he should have because he thought the rep would be acting as his lawyer. Then the rep turned around and denied coverage (we got that overturned but it was a scary time). The actual lawyer wound up telling him what I always tell him. Answer ONLY what you're asked and do not volunteer more information than that. EVER.

We've overpaid for many a used car because of AnonaDad's willingness to assume good intentions, and I've let myself be pressured into a couple of situations that, left to my own, I would have stood firmer on. Then weeks later something goes sour and I kick myself because I should have just said no and AnonaDad kicks himself because he shouldn't have been so nice.

The thing is that I'm torn about his niceness. He really is nice. He's sweet and friendly and wants to know people for who they are. He's the only person I know who, when taken to a strip club for his bachelor party, wound up finding out the life story of his lap dancer. My father really liked him for that.

The flip side of all that niceness is that when it comes to good-cop bad-cop situations, I am invariably the bad cop. This gets old after a while. And I worry sometimes that it's going to become more and more difficult to present a united front to our daughter. I don't always want to be the bitch; I get enough of that at work. It's one thing to have a room full of middle schoolers giving you the evil eye but it's going to be far more devastating when it's AnonaGirl.

All this is leading up to something, I swear. We recently had some very expensive work done on our backyard. It included pouring a significant amount of cement. The job was finished about 5 weeks ago and this past weekend we noticed no fewer than 8 long cracks in the newly poured concrete. That's not right, is it?? I mean, I don't expect it to last forever, but shouldn't it last more than a month without cracking?

We immediately called the guy who did the work but it's now five days later and no return call from him. I have the very ominous feeling that we may have to get nasty with him to get anything done (I'm not even sure what can be done). I'm not looking forward to dealing with this, because I can foresee a lot of bad copping in my future. We had to pull a lot of that shit with this guy to get the job finished and I don't relish doing it again. But I also know that AnonaDad will be way too understanding if I don't push this. He'll listen to a snowjob explaination and tell me all the reasons we're wrong to keep pushing and we'll have a big fight over something that should be easy for us to be united about. It's not the first time we've passed this way.

It may be a very long summer.

Labels: Bitch and moan

posted by AnonaMum @ 7:54 AM